I have had surgery before so knew what to expect. I had been feeling and ‘hearing’ that this experience was necessary as there was to be an ‘energy exchange’ that would occur during the surgery.
If you know much about me or have read my book, HELP! I’m Trapped In a BODY www.esateys.com you know I had a near-death experience http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near-death_studies in 1981. When I went through the windshield and lost consciousness for a bit I did not remember what went on during those few unconscious moments, for many years. I did have psychics and others tell me I was a Walk-In http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in. I had no idea what a Walk-In was, as I had never heard of such a thing. The only time I had heard the term was if you walk into a hair salon without an appointment but certainly nothing that was related to a spiritual experience.
I have had (and have never spoken about this publically) an awareness that I have been carrying two souls within my body. One soul is of Donna who was the resident of this body before my accident and the newcomer, Esateys. Donna is an old soul that had just could not evolve alone any more and my (Esateys) agreement has been to take on the karma of this body and Donna and evolve myself to Awakening while Awakening mankind.
I wondered if I was going to have another soul exchange or gosh maybe a third soul coming in. Most people have no idea what things can and do happen on the unseen level and most won’t know because they live in such a state of fear and closed-mindedness that expanded thoughts can not even enter.
My knowing was that Donna’s soul was going to leave and Esateys would be left to finish up karma etc and get on with my real work.
I have to admit that the years since 1981 have not been all that much fun. Taking on this karma and being here in this body that is so incredibly sensitive and seemingly fragile has been tough. In addition, the pull of the illusion and being lost in it off and on did not lend complete clarity in every moment.
As long as I am “telling it all” I will add that I have lived my Life kind of “in a closet”. I have not spoken about these things to hardly anyone. The fear of rejection was too big. The fear of being hurt or even killed crossed my mind as well (this I learned was a cellular imbedded issue from Donna speaking out in past lives about God and being killed for it).
Myself as Esateys do not originate from this planet. I guess you could label me an Alien. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/alien
Alien to me just means not familiar with…not origianting from….foreign…Alien might strike a cord of extra terrestrial or something weird but for me it is just as I said in the last sentence.
Actually very few people are first from Earth. It has not been my main place of residence. I in fact have never been in body here before. This is true for many of you as well. You know the feeling like you do not belong and just do not fit in? Many times this is because you too are from elsewhere and have come during this incredible time to support the birth of Earth and Mankind to a new frequency and way of Living. So many of you are masters from afar and so capable and when dropping in here (Earth) became lost again due to the amazing density of this plane of existence. The degree of pain and suffering that is prominent here rapes the mind of its ‘knowing’. It strips the awareness to a minimum. It is supposed to. That is the way it plays out here. This is The Game. (To learn about The Game called Life click here) http://www.esateys.com/prodDetails.php?ProdID=57
Not real. Just a Movie, a Dream. Still when you are here it seems so real, until it doesn’t.
The over- all frequency of Earth is rising rapidly. With it comes the ‘Remembering”. You will find yourself remembering who you are. That means who you REALLY are. Not the wife, husband, worker-bee, parent etc. Rather, the soul inside the person. The REAL you. You will remember why you came here and what you are to do to express God in Her/His finest form call YOU. You will see that all of this IS truly a Game and you will find yourself playing it with passion and not fear. You will find the joy, freedom and full expression of you as God instead of the constriction and restriction in every breath, situation or event. You will breathe deeply and fully, the power and clarity of everything, and you will know the blessedness of each moment. This is here now and for some it may still be in the ‘forth-coming’ stage. Look for it. Be aware of this. Live it now. No need to wait any longer. It will get easier and easier. Trust in that and NEVER EVER GIVE UP.
These are the type of thoughts were passing through my mind as the day of surgery approached. And they were not the only ones. I also had the ones I mentioned in my previous blog about What about Dying? What if this was my last stand, so to speak. I was feeling death all over me and in the corner of my mind I also remembered how many times I had felt the feeling of death. I learned that it was not so much the feeling of death of the body but rather the death of another part of the ego and the changing of concepts and beliefs that were dying away. The things that were no longer important or applicable to who I am now. This is happening for you too. Have you noticed more grief? Have you felt any loneliness, even though people were around? Unexplainable fears, even terror? Yes I know it all so well.
On the way to the hospital I felt some shakiness in the body. I spoke to my body and reminded it that it would be ok. It has been through so many traumas that it was reacting to the needles and other moments of pain that were forth-coming.
To Be Continued
